ive spent days coming up with things to say to you and ive said it over and over in my head so that itd make sense to you. ive added and taken away things just so you know exactly how i feel. ive spent hours at night trying to sleep but my stomach keeps turning and you wont leave my mind. I think of all the reasons to hate you and make them sound worse so i wont want you back. but then as my thoughts wander off i think of everything that made me fall in love, things that brought us together and made us fall apart. things that were over exaggerated or ignored. things that completely made me wanna be with you forever, then things that made me remember im still young. but then when we are together and its ok, and i feel safe and you say the exact right thing and everything feels fine, i forget. i forget why i hate you, i forget what i practiced saying and how much i wanted you to feel like shit and all my anger it disappears. it disappears into that familiar feeling of love.
I know the issues arent gone.
i know im going to back in this position sometime soon.
but in this moment where all i can think of is how much i miss you, i want you. i want you more cause ive had a taste of you being gone and that taste is not worth having over you."
laurabazso
